


Do I Wanna Know?

by therumandcokediaries



Series: Even A Mandalorian... / Blue Moves [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Anxiety, Bathing/Washing, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Din Djarin Removes the Helmet, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Good Parent Din Djarin, Kissing, Pushing boundaries, Romantic Friendship, Sensuality, Soft Din Djarin, Surprise Kissing, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Din Djarin, Touching, Uncertainty, Vulnerability, uncertain how to tag this so just shoving a whole bunch in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29813112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therumandcokediaries/pseuds/therumandcokediaries
Summary: (RATED TEEN BUT MIGHT BE ON THE CUSP BETWEEN TEEN AND MATURE)Even A Mandalorian gets lost for words sometimes.Din returns to Tatooine and is taken under Peli Motto's wing, offered the use of her bath for his aching muscles - and perhaps something else a touch-starved Mandalorian struggles to reject.
Relationships: Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda, Din Djarin & Peli Motto, Din Djarin/Peli Motto
Series: Even A Mandalorian... / Blue Moves [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2183292
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Do I Wanna Know?

**Author's Note:**

> As mentioned in the summary, I've rated this as Teen because it's potentially borderline Mature and I wasn't sure what to rate it. Also I wasn't 100% on what tags to use so if there's any you think I need to add, please let me know.
> 
> This all seemed a lot more chaste in my head, before I actually had it down on the page, I'll be honest. I've never really written this kind of thing before (and I'm still generally out of practice with writing) so feedback would be great, and as always comments/questions are encouraged!  
> Thank you so much for taking the time to read!

-

Din couldn't help feeling a bit strange landing in Tatooine after his last visit. He held his head high and tried to act like his last visit never happened.

"Did you miss me?" Peli said, smiling at him. "Have you got the kid?"

Din looked behind him. Grogu followed a few steps behind, looking sleepy. 

"He's tired" Din said unnecessarily. "We've had a long week"

"What about you?" she asked, lifting Grogu into her arms. "How are you?"

"I'm fine"

She raised an eyebrow. "Do you wanna reconsider that answer?"

"...I'm just sore"

"A good hot bath, that's what you need. When did you last have one?"

"I had a shower last night"

"That isn't what I asked"

Din blinked a bit. "It wouldn't be an efficient use of space having a bath on the ship. It's showers only for me"

"I've got a bath in the flat if you want to use it. Everything you'd need in there"

"Oh. Uh..."

"Just accept the offer, Mando"

Din nodded. He supposed it wouldn't hurt. He had time. And it would make a change.

-

It felt odd going inside with Peli. Her home was perfectly normal, but when you usually lived on a ship, most homes looked strange and felt a bit unusual. Din carefully took Grogu from her.

"What about him?"

"He'll be fine. You can put him down on the sofa. Looks like he'll probably just sleep. He'll be ok"

Din looked down at the child. He was very nearly asleep anyway. He set him down on the sofa, away from the edge. He stroked his little face gently. 

"Get some sleep, little one. It's ok; Peli will look after you"

He wouldn't leave until he was sure the child was asleep. Peli put a hand on the small of his back, guiding him to the hall.

"Bathroom's just through here" she said.

"I've changed my mind. The kid-"

"Leave him. He's fine, I promise" she pushed the bathroom door open. "After you"

The bathroom was a lot bigger than he expected, quite luxurious in its own way. He looked at Peli awkwardly, watching her turning the taps on and rearranging a few of the bottles on the side of the bath.

"You can use whatever; I've got loads of everything. There's a spare sponge there and I'll find you some towels" she said, grabbing a glass bottle and shaking some of the contents into the water.

"What did you just put in?"

"Just some salts. It'll help with your muscles. Don't be so paranoid"

"I'm not"

She turned round to look at him. "Are you planning on keeping your armour on?"

Din took the hint and slowly started getting undressed. He set his stuff on one of the side units, stopping in his trousers and helmet. Peli raised an eyebrow at him, turning off the bath taps. 

"Something wrong?"

"Can you look away?"

Peli held her hands up and did as she was asked. Din wasn't sure why she felt the need to supervise him. Still, she was being nice, he suppose, and he had grown to trust her. He finished getting undressed, bar his helmet, keeping a close eye on her in case she tried to look at him. He climbed into the bath, startling a little at the heat. it was a lot hotter than he'd expected, but slipping into the hot water felt good. He cleared his throat and Peli looked at him again. She couldn't help laughing.

"What's so funny?" Din demanded.

" _You_ are. This makes for quite a sight! Won't that thing get rusty?"

"No"

Peli shook her head. "Come on now; you can't keep that on. Don't be ridiculous"

"I'm not"

She perched on the edge of the bath, placing a hand on his helmet. "Our secret, remember?"

Din swallowed, making no further protest. Peli carefully removed his helmet, and smiled, chucking him under the chin like he was a child.

"There, that's better" she said, setting his helmet aside.

She rested a hand on the side of his face, rubbing her thumb against his skin. He swallowed, hardly daring move for a moment. His heart had started thudding.

"...You look like you're happy to see me"

"I'm happy to see your cuts have healed well" she paused, waiting to see if he'd respond. "Relax, Mando. I'll be back in a bit"

Once the door closed behind her, he dared relax. He sunk further into the water, breathing in the steam. God, it felt good. He could feel his muscles relaxing more with each intake of breath. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had the chance to submerge himself in a hot bath like this. It was hot enough to make him feel lightheaded. He let his eyes close for a moment, basking in the sensation. He hadn't felt so relaxed in ages. 

After a while, he ducked his head under the water and made himself sit up. He should probably start washing. An old tune entered his mind. The notes tapped in his brain, aching to be set free. He considered. Peli was probably in the front room with Grogu, so he didn't need to worry about her hearing. If he closed his eyes, he could kid himself he was alone. He didn't _often_ sing - he wasn't sure he was even any good at it - but sometimes it slipped out without him noticing, usually when he was in the shower. It didn't always feel like he was singing.   
It was just him. Alone, warm, relaxed. No one else. No one need ever know...

"...We're caught up in a web, you and I, since Crystal came between us.. The knots of friendship seem to be untied..."

He reached for the shampoo, enjoying the change of scent. It wasn't too different an experience to usual, but somehow his fingertips rubbing soap into his scalp felt a lot more relaxing that unusual.

"...And if she leaves me, handle her with care, don't hurt little Crystal..."

He relaxed into it, knowing every backing beat by heart. It always felt like his little secret. Maybe that's what made it so easy.

"The world is your Oyster, you're a pearl, but he's a jewel and my friend. I'm sure that in the end, Crystal, you'll be his little girl"

Even ducking his head under the water to wash the soap out felt oddly energising. The strong raspberry scent was wonderfully different to his usual mint and tea tree. He couldn't resist grabbing the conditioner, deciding he may as well go the whole hog while he had the chance. He'd always enjoyed a good wash in hot water, but a bath was definitely more relaxing than a shower: he felt so unbelievably at ease, like nothing existed outside this room.

"You're stronger than me but I'm sure that the fight would fall to no one... The cold hard truth is stronger than us all... And it breaks my heart to see us go this far we're just captives in our separate cells. And without her there's no peace behind these bars"

He rinsed his hair thoroughly and leant his head back against the edge of the bath, eyes closed, tapping out the instrumental with his foot and fingers, perfectly content.

"Try not to fall asleep"

Din jumped violently, making quite a splash as he sat up, breathing heavily. He hadn't heard the door.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to make you jump" Peli said hurriedly, biting back laughter.

Din looked at her, nodding slightly. He took a deep breath and sat back slightly, keeping his eyes on her. She set the towels she was holding down on one of the wooden ledges. 

"So" she said. "What were you singing?"

Din was grateful of the assurance that the heat from the bath had flushed his skin, so she wouldn't be able to tell he was blushing. She'd heard, then.

"Nothing you'd know" he said gruffly.

"Did you write it?"

"No" he shook his head slightly. "I acquired a stack of... Well, I don't really know what they are. Flat round silver things with holes in the middle. I somehow worked out a system for cracking into them, though, on the Crest. They play music. Nothing I'd ever heard before. It's from one of those"

"Oh, ok. Where are they from, these things with the music on?"

"I don't know. I'd never seen anything like them before, and I've never seen any more since finding them. They might not even be from this galaxy. It wouldn't be the first time things had come from outside it"

"Are they good?"

"Most of them"

"Maybe you could show me sometime?"

Din shrugged slightly, scrubbing his face. "Maybe"

Peli perched on the edge of the bath, placing her fingers under his chin and tilting his head up, as though inspecting him. He shifted slightly, trying to preserve his dignity as much as possible.

"You've managed to do your hair, then"

Did that warrant a response? He wasn't sure, so he stayed quiet. He looked at her, confused, maybe a bit suspicious. He was still trying to figure her out.

"...How's the kid?"

"Still sleeping, bless him" she said, wetting a sponge and squeezing shower gel onto it.

Din glanced between it and her a couple of times. She didn't seem to be paying attention at first. When she looked at him, she just raised an eyebrow and pressed the sponge against his neck. Din gasped at the contact, surprised even though he'd watched it happen. His heart started thudding again. Peli didn't appear to see any gravity to the situation, simply gliding the sponge over his shoulder, down his arm to his fingertips and back again, across his chest and other shoulder, down his other arm. He stayed as still as he could, trying not to admit that this strange situation actually felt good. She shouldn't even be seeing his face, let alone touching him like this - but as it stood, he didn't really mind. He didn't struggle or protest as she washed his upper half, scrubbing his back and laughing at his knee-jerk reaction when she reached his stomach. She stopped and held the sponge out to him.

"I'll let you do the rest" she said, and Din fancied he saw her wink.

He waited for her to turn her back and kept an eye on her while he finished washing. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. He felt small, and a little vulnerable, as he always did without his armour, but oddly safe too. He wasn't sure what to do when he'd finished. Should he grab her attention? He set the sponge aside, not watching what he was doing, and knocked over a bottle or two in the process.

"Don't go breaking my bathroom" Peli said, turning back to him.

"Sorry" he said, fumbling to put everything back.

He kept his head down, suddenly embarrassed.

"You ready to get out yet?"

"Yeah... It's starting to get cold anyway"

She unfolded a towel and held it out for him. Din looked at her, considered, decided she'd seen more than enough of him.

"Do you mind..?"

"Alright, alright" Peli sighed, averting her gaze and handing him the towel.

Din took the towel, watching her carefully. 

"Can I ask you something? About when you helped me last time?"

"Shoot"

"When you wiped the blood off the wall, did you... Did you try to kiss me?"

Peli turned to him, arms folded. He'd stepped out of the bath and wound the towel round his waist with no further exposure or loss of dignity by this point.

" _Try_ to?" she said. "I thought I _had_ "

Din was a little taken aback by her response. "It was brief, and my head hurt, so I wasn't sure..."

"I thought you wanted to act like that whole first aid incident never happened?"

"Yeah..." Din tilted his head slightly, feeling a little awkward in his towel. "Sh-should I..? Uh..."

"Just sit down, Mando" Peli said, motioning to the bathroom seating.

Din swallowed and sat down on the raised wooden seat. He knew he had a sceptical, questioning look on his face, but he quickly decided it was warranted. He was still getting used to the whole phenomenon of being seen without his helmet, let alone the rest of it. Either Peli really didn't care, or she was pretending she didn't to make him feel more at ease about the situation. Who could say?

"What's that look for?"

Din simply glanced at the hand towel she was holding and back to her eyes.

"You're quite the character really, aren't you?"

She brought the small towel up behind him and started rubbing his hair carefully. Din's gasp caught in his throat and his hand shot up, grabbing her wrist, purely from surprise. It wasn't a tight grip, so Peli simply twisted out of it and carried on what she was doing.

"I always thought you must be" she continued. "Something charismatic about you from the start. If a bit sharp"

Din couldn't speak, his heart pounding, eyes once again fixed on the woman in front of him. He couldn't seem to relax or get used to the sensation. She was gentle, yes, but firm too, so he didn't know why it was making him shiver like this. What was she doing? She didn't have to do this; he wanted to tell her as much. But he couldn't. He just stayed as he was, watching her, hyper-aware of every touch, every slight movement of her fingers. He might not be able to relax under it, but the touch, though partner to a strange sensation, was oddly reassuring. He didn't receive physical contact like this, so even this - being firmly patted dry with a warm towel - was strangely enticing.  
He found himself feeling stranger still the lower she got, twitching as she reached his stomach. She noticed, and while he still held the towel to his chest with one hand, her other left it, tracing the line just above the towel round his waist. Din did make a sound then. Not quite a gasp - he didn't know _what_ it was. The only thing he could liken it to was the sound he made if he got hit especially hard in the midriff during a fight. Whatever it was, it made a smile tug at Peli's lips. Her fingertips ghosted his stomach and stroked up his chest, making him gasp the sort of gasp that keeps catching in your throat. She ran her fingers down his side and back up his chest. Din was mortified at the tiny sounds that escaped him, but somehow he couldn't help it. She touched his shoulder and neck, and he suddenly grabbed at her, catching her hip. She paused, looking at him, and he let his hand fall back to his side. He looked down at the hand still holding the towel against him. Peli placed her other hand on the side of Din's face, tilting his head up, looking him in the eye and grazing her thumb over his parted lips. He felt sick, but in a way he never had before - like anxiety, only hotter. He didn't have time to contemplate the look in her eyes, because suddenly she was kissing him. Properly, this time, not like the brush of lips on the Crest. He couldn't move, couldn't even kiss back, but he could feel himself shaking. It felt good; it was _nice_. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest; it was beating so fast. He tried to keep his eyes open, the light bouncing off the white bathroom tiles almost blinding. He shifted slightly, letting out the little whimper that had been caught in his throat. It sounded so uncertain to him - he hoped it had been the right sound to make. 

Peli moved back, stroking Din's damp hair back from his face.

"Do you want more?"

Din just swallowed. Was that rhetorical, or was he supposed to answer? She smiled and kissed him again. He managed to kiss her back this time, just a little bit, just pressing against her. It seemed to be ok, until he started shaking even more than before. She kissed his cheek, his jaw, and then kissed his neck.

"Oh..!" Din could feel his skin flushing. Oh god...

Peli paused and kissed him gently once more before standing straight. 

"If you want more, we can. I'm very open-minded. And discreet" she added. 

Din stared at her. Was this real? It didn't _feel_ real. Everything was hot, and bright, and his chest and stomach hurt with nerves, and he was still shaking like mad. But she was so close, and he could still feel her touch on him. And she was talking to him.

"Mando" she said softly. "Tell me what you want me to do"

He couldn't. He could barely breathe, let alone speak.

"Anything you want me to do, I'll do. Just say it in the next ten seconds"

This was ridiculous. Why had he frozen so completely? He couldn't speak - but his mind was shouting at him, shouting at _her_.

_Touch me! Put your hands on me, touch my chest, my back, my sides, my stomach. Hold me, hard. Kiss me, kiss my shoulders, kiss my neck. Oh god, please just touch me, do whatever you want, just let me know what it feels like to be physically close to another person._

He opened his mouth, tried to speak. Peli watched him, patient, kind - which made his silence all the more frustrating for him. Ten seconds passed so slowly, yet so quickly. Peli put the towel round his shoulders and kissed him gently on the forehead.

"I'll go and make sure the kid's still alright while you get dressed. Ok?"

He could only nod dumbly.

-

Everything felt even more unreal now he was alone in the bathroom. For a few minutes he just sat there, trying to work out exactly what had just happened. It seemed to last for hours, but it couldn't have been more than about ten minutes, fifteen at the absolute most. What did it all mean? Was it just one of those strange heat-of-the-moment things, to never be mentioned again? Or was it something more than just someone trying their luck? Had taking his helmet off for an hour really caused all of this? Would it have happened differently if he were different? Would it have happened at all if he hadn't asked if she'd kissed him before? Or would it still have happened regardless? Did she plan it?

He didn't have an answer to most of those questions.

He forced himself up, rubbing the rest of him dry as best he could, putting on a bit of spray and hurriedly pulling on his clothes and armour. His pulse was still pounding in his ears. What was he supposed to do when he went out there? Should he mention it, or act like it didn't happen? He hadn't been able to speak when it was happening:- what made him think he'd be able to in the aftermath?

Din grabbed his helmet. It seemed to stare, judging him for what he'd done. For what he'd allowed to happen by removing it. He swallowed, overcome with guilt. But why should he be? It was only one person, and it was private. And it had been necessary for the situation. Both times... There were other Mandalorians, unlike him, who took their helmets off whenever they wanted - the one's he'd met on Trask. He still didn't quite understand their history or their version of Mandalor, but... Well, he was just looking for some way to justify what he'd done, really. If no one knew, could it really hurt them?

He pulled on his helmet and looked at himself in the mirror. He wasn't the same person now. He wasn't the man who had been reduced to a gasping, nervous, trembling mess by the slightest bit of human contact anymore: he was just a Mandalorian.

-

Peli was sat on the sofa with Grogu in her lap, fussing him.

Din swallowed. "How is he?"

"He's fine. He's had a good sleep"

"Good... Thanks for letting me use the bath. Made a nice change"

"No problem. You feeling less sore now?"

"Yeah. Can I..?"

"Sure" Peli stood up and put Grogu in his arms. "I was gonna feed him. Do you want anything?"

"It's fine; I've got stuff on the ship" Din said, hugging Grogu close. 

"You sure? I could save you a job"

Din looked at Grogu. "What do you think?"

Grogu smiled up at him. Food always sounded like a good idea to him. 

"I guess it wouldn't hurt. I don't want him going hungry"

"Great. Why don't you sit down?"

"Uh, actually, it's pretty hot in here. I think I'll get some air"

"Sure. I'll bring it out. You sure you don't want anything?"

"I'm not hungry"

-

Din dared breathe out when he was outside. He felt better out in the cool evening air. Grogu whined at him, reaching a concerned little hand up to him.

"I just need to cool down a bit, little one" Din said, taking his little hand in his own. "I'm fine. Just a bit warm"

He sat down at the little outside table. Peli had acted like nothing unusual had happened, which only planted further doubt in his mind. He rocked Grogu gently, closing his eyes. He'd left his gloves off for now, so he could feel the light breeze against his skin. Grogu gurgled in his arms, sensing something was amiss.

"Don't look at me like that. There's nothing for you to worry about. That's not your job"

Grogu relaxed a bit. Din did too for a little while, until he heard the door behind him.

"Are you gonna keep hold of him?"

"Not while he's eating" Din set the child down on a spare chair. "He'll be better off there"

Grogu looked up at the grown ups, eyeing the bowl in Peli's hands. 

"Hey, bright eyes" she smiled. "Look what I've got for you"

She helped the child settle and took a seat beside Din. They were quiet a while, watching Grogu.

"Are you ok?"

Din turned to her. "Why do you ask?"

"Because we're friends" she said, reaching over and taking his hand in both of hers. "Your hand's cold. The temperature is dropping out here"

"It's fine"

"You're really stubborn, you know. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Din didn't say anything. Peli rubbed the back of his hand firmly. She noticed his gloves were on the table.

"Do you want a drink or anything?"

"No"

"Alright, bit blunt" she said, but smiled.

She stroked his fingers gently, and he watched her, shivering slightly. Was he really so touch-starved that having his hand held felt nice? Or was it like this for everyone? He should be used to being lonely and separate from others after living most of his life that way. So why did her hands holding his and touching his wrists make tears fill his eyes? Why was it so reassuring, while also being so nerve-wracking?  
Peli didn't seem to be giving it a second thought. Maybe this was normal for her. She just kept talking to him, even though he wasn't really responding. Truth be told, he wasn't even listening, not really. He couldn't concentrate on anything other than the feeling of her skin against his. She was acting like she really cared and enjoyed his company. It was such a foreign concept - could it possibly be true?

They were interrupted by a clatter. Din snapped round to look at Grogu, finding he'd thrown his empty bowl.

"Hey! Don't do that"

"He's just a baby" Peli said, letting go of Din's hand and picking the bowl up. She set it on the table. "No harm done"

"Thanks for feeding him. I think he enjoys your cooking"

"Don't you cook?"

"Yes. Nothing fancy, though. Just whatever's fast and convenient"

"Nothing wrong with that"

"No, I suppose not" he lifted Grogu up onto his lap. "Stop squawking" 

Grogu relented, grabbing Din's hand and gumming on his wrist guard. Din patted his head gently.

"You're so good with him"

Din paused. "Maybe"

He took his gloves from the table and pulled them on.

"You getting ready to go?" Peli asked.

"It'll be dark soon. He'll probably be ready for his bed before long. Besides, once again we've taken up enough of your time"

"It's no bother: you two are good company. You make me laugh"

_Gotta be good for something_ , Din thought.

He stood up, holding Grogu carefully. 

"Thank you again" he said.

"No problem"

Peli stood up, walking over to the Razor Crest with him. They stopped at the ramp.

"Do you know when you'll be hogging my hangar again?"

"Soon, I'd imagine. I always seem to end up here sooner or later"

"Well, there's always a bath and a cup of tea waiting for you if you want it"

Din looked at her carefully, and tried his luck. "Anything else?"

Peli shrugged. "The best mechanic this side of the galaxy?"

Din laughed slightly. He looked down at Grogu.

"See you again soon, little guy. You'll keep the Mandalorian out of trouble, won't you?"

Grogu gurgled happily at her. Din couldn't help smiling behind his helmet. He liked that Grogu and Peli liked each other. It made things easier. It was reassuring. 

"Well" Peli said. "I guess you're going now"

"It looks like it"

They looked at each other for one long moment. Grogu's confused little noise was the only thing preventing total silence. Peli stepped closer to him. He didn't move. She reached up and lifted his helmet just enough to expose his mouth, and kissed him. Din kissed back without hesitation, holding onto her with one hand. He still felt mixed up and confused, but he knew he liked this, rightly or wrongly.  
All too soon it was over, his mouth once again hidden behind beskar.

"You look after yourself, Mando"

Din nodded. "You too. See you next time"

"Sure will" she stepped off the ramp, waving slightly. "Now get off my property"

"Gladly" Din replied, joking along with her. "Goodbye"

"Have a safe trip"

Part of him wanted to jump off the ramp and throw his arms around her, wanted to hold her and be held in return. But all he could do was offer a non-committal wave before he turned round.

"May the force be with you" he heard behind him.

He paused, mid-step, but didn't turn round.

"And with you" he said, and the ship door closed behind him.

* 


End file.
